Tear Stained Faces

Tear Stained Faces
(real life raising a child w/SN)

your tear stained face

your hair all a mess

your wild eyes peering at me

wondering if I see you
wondering if I understand

oh how I try

patience comes and goes

but love abounds

tears begin to stream down my face 

I turn so you won't see my hurt

my heart all a mess 

my eyes must mirror the doubt

both of us carrying such strength
the bond between us immense
our hearts' emotions are entwined
thoughts are portrayed with a simple look

our tear stained faces gaze back at one another

your questioning thoughts and my doubtfulness has vanished

replaced by a peace filled love

I see you

I understand

Road Map of My Mind

Ever feel like you're not sure where you're going? You get the map out, Google probably, and find your direction. Life doesn't offer a map, or Google. In our minds we plan our futures. Others help add to these intricate ideas. We start out thinking we have it all together because there's a plan of sorts. Lately I've realized how inconsistent life's travels can be. I've also been brought to a turning point-  there doesn't have to be a map. In fact finding your direction means following your instincts, leaning on your intuition, listening to your heart, accepting mistakes, and learning to love yourself. Meditation, prayer, a beach walk are just a few ways to rid yourself of the negative thoughts that will continue to hold you back from where you're meant to end up. Never allow others to determine how you feel, or to impose their own insecurities onto you.  Not everyone is meant to wander onward with us. Hard truths hurt, but if we allow lies and disrespect from ourselves just think what we allow others to do; past or present. Trust yourself enough to make those tough decisions that will lead you where you are going.

Excerpt from my children's poetry collection

Breakfast at Nanas"

Sleepy eyes and the swish of slippers
Tea cups clattering as coffee brews
Bacon sizzling while eggs are flipping
Place settings have been placed

A dish here a plate there
this fork that spoon
Oh wait here's yet a teeny tinier spoon

you can use them all

yes you can

oh such fun

A tea cup for me and a saucer for you

Here's a bit of sugar 

Cereal on the side

Grapefruit or berries

So many choices
decisions decisions
It surely doesn't matter

Nana flutters around like a butterfly
Grampy flashes a cheerful smile
His voice carrying a memorable tune
Morning chats and breakfast at nanas                   will always be a delight to me

Learning to hold the reigns

As I watched my daughter at equine therapy yesterday as she worked on holding the reigns it made me think about how relatable to life that is. She held on with one hand while still clutching the saddle horn with the other. No doubt this increased her comfort level for the time being, and eventually she'll be grasping onto the reigns with both hands. Learning to loosen our grip on what we've become accustomed to can be overwhelming. Trusting in a new way means pushing fear aside and grabbing faith into a bear hug. Changes are necessary for growth. We hear this time and again, but are we actually paying attention? Learn to hold the reigns of your life like you mean it..  with confidence in yourself. You can do it!

A New Year

 

2016 was a year of opportunity, growth and independence for me. Early in the year my dream of having a book signing and story time event at Barnes and Noble Bookstore came true, both books were accepted in multiple venues, I've been offered creative opportunities within the community, and a friend helped a vision I had of creating Chopper & T dolls happen. I've reconnected with old friends, and met new. I was able to go to Maine to visit family, and was then gifted with a flight to NYC; where I took in the sights and saw my first Broadway show... this was a bucket list adventure. Tiana  turned 21 and continues to thrive where she lives. Her grant for a special riding helmet was approved and she began equine therapy riding again. Living aboard Summer Reign for over a year now, has been and continues to be a combination of enjoyment, frustration, and teachable moments. Paul can't believe his dream is still in full effect, and Rocky has proven to be an excellent boat dog- only falling in twice. Feeling gratefulness for  2016 and positivity for 2017! The new year will be filled with prosperity, blessings and love. 

Believe it!

Happy New Year! Don't worry about resolutions; instead love yourself more.  In turn you'll be able to love others more and build a mindset of gratefulness for every tiny blessing that will grow into blessings you may never even  expected!